Change of Seasons

Dear Blog,

I'm sorry but I seem to have neglected you over the past few weeks (months?). I want you to know that I still care about you and think of you often, but I rarely get beyond that. Really, I'm sorry.

I wanted to share a picture of my garden with you so you don't feel too left out. See, I'm thinking of you!

And just as soon as we begin getting some cooler weather and I'm inside more, I'll be sure to spend more time with you. I promise.

Love, Me

Hope and Trust

Those two words sum up this year for me, at least so far. Hope for a better tomorrow, hope for the future in this world and hope for the next. And trust. Trust that God is who He says He is and He will do what He says He will do. Trust that everything is going to be okay. And, you know what? For right now, this minute, everything IS okay. I've spent a good portion of this year holding my breath...wondering what is coming next and wondering if we are going to make it and making plans that may or may not come to pass. But I am beginning to exhale. I can trust Him. I can. He is worthy. So this all ties in to my garden which I finally planted last weekend. I think a garden is a wonderful expression of hope and trust. I hope for good results as I poke the seeds into the dirt. I hope for good weather and no weeds and timely germination and all sorts of things. And I also trust. I trust that the seeds will do as God has planned ~ germinate, sprout, grow and bear fruit.
The picture is of garlic I planted last Fall. Talk about trust - I stuck those cloves of garlic in the dirt just before the first hard freeze and covered them up with straw I snuck out of a neighbor's trash can (by the light of the early morning sun, I might add). And then one day not too long ago, Curtis spied tender green spears poking up through the straw. He was so excited he called me at work to tell me. And that's when I felt it - hope. I felt a sense of things falling into place, that everything will work out even when it seems like it won't. I'll keep you posted on the garden. And other things too.

Sunday Night

Hmmm, Sunday night. Since I've become part of the full time work force lately, Sunday nights are not what they used to be. I'm working on not feeling dread about the coming week of worksleepworksleepworksleep....you get the picture. Is this how my husband has felt all these years? I have a lot more sympathy for him as the primary wage earner now. I would love for him to have that role back, really I would. Anyway, I am working on the attitude thing for reals. Life is too short to be filled with dread!

Sooooo, today I had a thought. Imagine that - an honest-to-goodness original thought! - and here it is: God speaks to us through imperfect vessels. There ya go. Not too original but it struck me afresh nonetheless. As I pondered this bit of "new" information it occurred to me: God only speaks to us through imperfect vessels. Ha - whaddayathinkofthat??? Why would I expect anything less? Of course He speaks to us through imperfect vessels because that is all that is available to Him here on Earth. Amazingly brilliant, I know. I know!

But this thought brought me much comfort and filled me with a feeling of grace towards those who bring the gospel to me each Sunday morning. I have a confession to make: sometimes I don't attend the service. When a certain pastor is preaching, I skip out. Naughty, naughty me. I am such a bad example. This morning, when I was backsliding, uhhhh, I mean running errands at Walmart instead of sitting in church, God let me in on that little bit of wisdom I shared in the previous paragraph. And instantly all the negative, critical thoughts I had been entertaining in my head just went away. Poof. God is like that sometimes. And I love that He is.

Birthday "Week"...

Most people have a birth DAY. Well, being the only female (human) in my house, I have long held to the tradition that there needs to be a birthday WEEK. So this is my birthday WEEK. Every day leading up to my birthday has had a little something special in it, and I love that. Sunday, Curtis's mom paid for us to go out to lunch at Red Lobster, something we would not have been able to do otherwise. Since both boys were busy in other social adventures, it was just Curtis and I, which made it special times two. Monday was special because Curtis drove me to work and picked me up. My Monday part-time job includes horrendous parking. Seriously, you have to get to the campus at least 15 minutes early just to find a parking spot. Then you have to hike a mile (okay, maybe just 10 blocks or so) to get to your actual work location. So getting a ride to work (and home!) is a big deal. Today, Tuesday, we went to see Sherlock Holmes at the ultra cheap theater with some change from our change can. It was a great movie and extra-special because I got to see it with Curtis. I wonder what Wednesday will bring? Happy Birthday WEEK to me!

Are you trapped?

Sometimes, life can feel like a trap. Every day is a struggle and you don't know which way you should go or what you should do. Most days you feel like you have no options and you rail against the trap you feel you are in. So, I got to thinking about this visual image of a snare. A simple snare that one might use to trap a small animal like a rabbit. When a rabbit initially gets caught in the snare, its first reaction is to struggle and fight for freedom --- to get out of the snare and run away. Far, far away. A snare is a simple design - it's greatest strength is that it is light, simple, easy to set up and, the best part, the more the trapped animal struggles, the tighter the snare becomes. And so it goes with life. The more you struggle against the trap you feel you are in, the tighter the trap closes in around you. There is no freedom in the struggle. Check out Psalm 91:3...."Surely He will save you from the fowler's snare". Hmmmm, makes you think, right? The message I got from this is not to struggle when you feel you are trapped. You need to lie still and wait for Him to come and undo the snare that has you trapped. That is your only job: lie still and wait for Him. Which leads me to the next Psalm. Read Psalm 46:10..."Be still and know that I am God." These two verses speak to me in my current "trap" of unemployment and the black hole of an unknown immediate future. I shall lie still and wait for Him to undo the ties that bind me.

It's him...

I tried to find a picture of him, but couldn't locate my pictures. But it doesn't matter. I know what he looks like and besides, looks don't matter anyway. I just want to say on this Hallmark of holidays that I really and truly love my husband. The longer we are married (20+ years), the more I come to appreciate who he is and what a gift he is to my life. While I am all over the place emotionally a lot of the time, he is steady as a rock. Think: bedrock. Not much gets him ruffled or causes him to get detoured. I need that. Apparently God knew that too. So I am thankful for him today.

Don't ya love it?

Yup, that's my boy. Boy, huh, not really. He's 18 now, man-like in all he does. But I love this picture. It makes me smile and feel good all over. He is a joy and I am blessed to be his mother.