Change of Seasons

Dear Blog,

I'm sorry but I seem to have neglected you over the past few weeks (months?). I want you to know that I still care about you and think of you often, but I rarely get beyond that. Really, I'm sorry.

I wanted to share a picture of my garden with you so you don't feel too left out. See, I'm thinking of you!

And just as soon as we begin getting some cooler weather and I'm inside more, I'll be sure to spend more time with you. I promise.

Love, Me

Hope and Trust

Those two words sum up this year for me, at least so far. Hope for a better tomorrow, hope for the future in this world and hope for the next. And trust. Trust that God is who He says He is and He will do what He says He will do. Trust that everything is going to be okay. And, you know what? For right now, this minute, everything IS okay. I've spent a good portion of this year holding my breath...wondering what is coming next and wondering if we are going to make it and making plans that may or may not come to pass. But I am beginning to exhale. I can trust Him. I can. He is worthy. So this all ties in to my garden which I finally planted last weekend. I think a garden is a wonderful expression of hope and trust. I hope for good results as I poke the seeds into the dirt. I hope for good weather and no weeds and timely germination and all sorts of things. And I also trust. I trust that the seeds will do as God has planned ~ germinate, sprout, grow and bear fruit.
The picture is of garlic I planted last Fall. Talk about trust - I stuck those cloves of garlic in the dirt just before the first hard freeze and covered them up with straw I snuck out of a neighbor's trash can (by the light of the early morning sun, I might add). And then one day not too long ago, Curtis spied tender green spears poking up through the straw. He was so excited he called me at work to tell me. And that's when I felt it - hope. I felt a sense of things falling into place, that everything will work out even when it seems like it won't. I'll keep you posted on the garden. And other things too.

Sunday Night

Hmmm, Sunday night. Since I've become part of the full time work force lately, Sunday nights are not what they used to be. I'm working on not feeling dread about the coming week of worksleepworksleepworksleep....you get the picture. Is this how my husband has felt all these years? I have a lot more sympathy for him as the primary wage earner now. I would love for him to have that role back, really I would. Anyway, I am working on the attitude thing for reals. Life is too short to be filled with dread!

Sooooo, today I had a thought. Imagine that - an honest-to-goodness original thought! - and here it is: God speaks to us through imperfect vessels. There ya go. Not too original but it struck me afresh nonetheless. As I pondered this bit of "new" information it occurred to me: God only speaks to us through imperfect vessels. Ha - whaddayathinkofthat??? Why would I expect anything less? Of course He speaks to us through imperfect vessels because that is all that is available to Him here on Earth. Amazingly brilliant, I know. I know!

But this thought brought me much comfort and filled me with a feeling of grace towards those who bring the gospel to me each Sunday morning. I have a confession to make: sometimes I don't attend the service. When a certain pastor is preaching, I skip out. Naughty, naughty me. I am such a bad example. This morning, when I was backsliding, uhhhh, I mean running errands at Walmart instead of sitting in church, God let me in on that little bit of wisdom I shared in the previous paragraph. And instantly all the negative, critical thoughts I had been entertaining in my head just went away. Poof. God is like that sometimes. And I love that He is.

Birthday "Week"...

Most people have a birth DAY. Well, being the only female (human) in my house, I have long held to the tradition that there needs to be a birthday WEEK. So this is my birthday WEEK. Every day leading up to my birthday has had a little something special in it, and I love that. Sunday, Curtis's mom paid for us to go out to lunch at Red Lobster, something we would not have been able to do otherwise. Since both boys were busy in other social adventures, it was just Curtis and I, which made it special times two. Monday was special because Curtis drove me to work and picked me up. My Monday part-time job includes horrendous parking. Seriously, you have to get to the campus at least 15 minutes early just to find a parking spot. Then you have to hike a mile (okay, maybe just 10 blocks or so) to get to your actual work location. So getting a ride to work (and home!) is a big deal. Today, Tuesday, we went to see Sherlock Holmes at the ultra cheap theater with some change from our change can. It was a great movie and extra-special because I got to see it with Curtis. I wonder what Wednesday will bring? Happy Birthday WEEK to me!

Are you trapped?

Sometimes, life can feel like a trap. Every day is a struggle and you don't know which way you should go or what you should do. Most days you feel like you have no options and you rail against the trap you feel you are in. So, I got to thinking about this visual image of a snare. A simple snare that one might use to trap a small animal like a rabbit. When a rabbit initially gets caught in the snare, its first reaction is to struggle and fight for freedom --- to get out of the snare and run away. Far, far away. A snare is a simple design - it's greatest strength is that it is light, simple, easy to set up and, the best part, the more the trapped animal struggles, the tighter the snare becomes. And so it goes with life. The more you struggle against the trap you feel you are in, the tighter the trap closes in around you. There is no freedom in the struggle. Check out Psalm 91:3...."Surely He will save you from the fowler's snare". Hmmmm, makes you think, right? The message I got from this is not to struggle when you feel you are trapped. You need to lie still and wait for Him to come and undo the snare that has you trapped. That is your only job: lie still and wait for Him. Which leads me to the next Psalm. Read Psalm 46:10..."Be still and know that I am God." These two verses speak to me in my current "trap" of unemployment and the black hole of an unknown immediate future. I shall lie still and wait for Him to undo the ties that bind me.

It's him...

I tried to find a picture of him, but couldn't locate my pictures. But it doesn't matter. I know what he looks like and besides, looks don't matter anyway. I just want to say on this Hallmark of holidays that I really and truly love my husband. The longer we are married (20+ years), the more I come to appreciate who he is and what a gift he is to my life. While I am all over the place emotionally a lot of the time, he is steady as a rock. Think: bedrock. Not much gets him ruffled or causes him to get detoured. I need that. Apparently God knew that too. So I am thankful for him today.

Don't ya love it?

Yup, that's my boy. Boy, huh, not really. He's 18 now, man-like in all he does. But I love this picture. It makes me smile and feel good all over. He is a joy and I am blessed to be his mother.

I tried...

I tried to make it last, really I did. But I finished it any way. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society was, sigh, great. Really great. I enjoyed each and every word. How often can you say that about a book? Made me want to move there and get to know everyone, even if they are fictional. I savored the afterglow of that book, and then began another. This one is entitled Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet. I think it might have been just as good. A very different sort of literary book, but oh-so-good too. I finished it last night. So sad to see it finished. Why can't they just go on forever? (Don't answer, I know why.) If you are looking for a good book, I can heartily recommend either (or both). You will be blessed and enjoy yourself as well!

The Joy of Reading...

If you know me, you know I love to read. I am a voracious reader. I have to limit myself on the reading thing because I've been known to shut out everyone, completely, when my nose is in a book. Ahem. I have given myself permission to read a book just last night...
a book that I've been hearing is a good one. It is entitled The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society. See? Even the title is intriguing! I'm only to page 13, but I had to share this excerpt from what I've read so far:

I wonder how the book got to Guernsey? Perhaps there is some secret sort of homing instinct in books that brings them to their perfect readers. How delightful if that were true. That's why I love reading: one tiny thing will interest you in a book, and that tiny thing will lead you onto another book, and another bit there will lead you onto a third book. It's geometrically progressive --- all with no end in sight, and for no other reason than sheer enjoyment.

Now, don't you want to read more??? I know I do and I know I will be reading this tonight. Probably way too late and will go to work tired tomorrow. Tired but happy because I got to spend some quality time with a book.

Just thinking....again.

So many thoughts swirling around in my head....must write some of them down to decrease the mental clutter. I've been thinking about the faithfulness and provision of God. No matter my situation, He has always provided for my daily needs. There have been times when we had more resources and I used some of those resources to stock pile. You know, you see a screaming deal on canned peaches so you buy as many as you can afford and store. Then the times come that are a bit leaner and you remember - ah! I have peaches! - and it just makes your day. You can't convince me that that is a coincidence. If I remain open and yielded to God, He uses it all: all of my efforts and desires and longings and whatever. It is truly a confort to me to know that He is always watching out for me and always creating a way for me to not only survive, but thrive. It is truly humbling!

I have another example....there are several women at church who are expecting a baby. I love to give gifts to new moms and love to participate in the fellowship at baby showers. But, in hard times, it can be difficult to know what to do about the gift. Again, like the canned peaches example, many years ago someone taught me how to make a very simple denim strip quilt. I've stockpiled enough old Levis to make 100's of quilts! So, now I am known at my church as the lady who makes denim strip quilts for new moms. And, years ago, when I was learning this particular skill, I wasn't thinking about how useful it will be in the future. I was just happy to learn. Now I can look back and see how it all fits together in my life now.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that nothing is wasted in God's economy. What I'm living through right now is going to help me or someone else in the future. God has it all in His very capable hands and all I have to do is be obedient and yielded to Him. It gives me great peace.

Just thinkin'...

I've heard it my whole life: "Life is short". I heard it when my boys were babies and the nights were long and the days were longer. I heard it when they still wanted to sit on my lap and snuggle. I heard it when they started school. I heard it when there was conflict. I heard it from my mother. I've read it in books, seen it in movies....so why does it still catch me by surprise? Last night I heard about a friend from college that I was able to reconnect with while living in Colorado. At the relatively young age of 47, he passed away suddenly. My first thought was "life is short". Again I am reminded that our lives here on this planet that we are so attached to and have so many plans for is just a temporary place. Even my fleshly body is a temporary shelter. And I feel the longing for my true home and my true body.

"Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, and eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come." 2 Corinthians 6: 1 - 5, NIV

A resolution of sorts....

My Symphony

To live content with small means;
To seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion;
To be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich;
To study hard, think quietly, talk gently, Act frankly;
To listen to stars and birds, to babes and sages, with open heart;
To bear all cheerfully, Do all bravely, Await occasions, Hurry never.
In a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common.

THIS IS TO BE MY SYMPHONY

William Henry Channing

A New Year...

RECIPE FOR A HAPPY NEW YEAR
Author Unknown
Take twelve whole months,

Clean them thoroughly of all bitterness, hate, and jealousy,

Make them just as fresh and clean as possible.

Now cut each month into twenty-eight, thirty, or thirty-one different parts,

but don’t make up the whole batch at once.

Prepare it one day at a time out of these ingredients.
Mix well into each day one part of faith, one part of patience, one part of courage, and one part of work.
Add to each day one part of hope, faithfulness, generosity, and kindness.

Blend with one part prayer, one part meditation, and one good deed.

Season the whole with a dash of good spirits, a sprinkle of fun, a pinch of play,and a cupful of good humor.
Pour all of this into a vessel of love.

Cook thoroughly over radiant joy, garnish with a smile, and serve with quietness, unselfishness,and cheerfulness.
You’re bound to have a happy new year!

(and that is my wish for you!)

Day 1 Musings...

Today I have been a cat magnet. Every time I sit still for any amount of time, one of the two cats that live with us decides I look irresistably comfortable and saunters over to make herself comfy. This process usually involves some licking and kneading and, most importantly, placing her feline self between me and the TV. Cats are funny.

In other news, we went to see "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" and found it refreshingly funny and sweet! I love it when a children's movie involves humor for grown-ups as well. There were many laughs in there as well as a wee nap as I was wedged in between two handsome men and it was warm and I was cozy and there was a lull....sigh. It was pretty great.

As far as New Year's Day goes, it's been a banner one.